Despite a massive Instagram following, a YouTube channel with views in the millions, and a jet set work schedule, Kim Anami doesn’t play hard to get. Instead, she works tirelessly to spread an enticing message: “Everyone ought to be having more sex. And better sex.”
Curiously observing a modern culture where notions of sex still lean towards taboo, where women are hardly encouraged to revel in sexual pleasure, where sex and spirituality exist on separate planes, Anami set out to shake things up. Her coaching method is a well-rounded one, combining everything from Tantra to Taoism to Transpersonal Psychology with an aim to deepen intimacy levels on the physical, emotional, and spiritual fronts. Basically, she really cares about our sex lives. Why? Because essential to her main message is the seductively refreshing notion that sex can heal.
It was the same, multi-dimensional model of wellness that attracted the sex coach to holistic medicine in the first place.
Remembering a younger version of herself, she notes an early frustration with conventional health practices: “I found that allopathic medicine didn’t seem to have a lot of answers… it had a lot of bandaids.”
Her less-than-reassuring impression of the status-quo propelled her into decades of intensive study where she applied practice of alternative healing methods, swiftly adopting a holistic approach to her own wellbeing, and later in her work. “I call myself a holistic sex and relationship coach because I’m all about getting to the root cause,” she explains. On a personal quest to learn “how we can become the best versions of ourselves,” she found support in the pillars of Traditional Chinese Medicine for another, more inspiring impression she held — that sex and spirit do mix, after all.
The roots of Traditional Chinese Medicine lie in the Taoist premise of qi (chi) — the energy that flows within and between all forms in nature. Abundant, flowing qi yields good health, and Anami shows us that we can get it in more ways than one.
“I discovered Taoist philosophies really echoed my own personal experiences which were that sex is healing. Sex is medicine. Sex is a pathway to higher spiritual states of consciousness,” she explains.
Today, the sex expert maintains the Taoist proposition of sex as a catalyst for flowing qi in her work, employing a range of holistic modalities to generate emotional balance and physical vitality within her clients. “When we’re in touch with that energy, we begin to funnel all that energy into everything, including our partnership, our children, our parenting, our work, our financial lives. Conversely, when we’re out of touch with this energy, when we’re disconnected from our sexuality, everything sucks!”
For a woman as well-versed as Anami, igniting a thriving movement seems a destined course, even when she humbly describes the culmination of no less than two annual intimacy retreats in Bali and Mexico where she teaches a system of clearing blockages, communication skills, and orgasm techniques, showcases an exquisite line of ethically produced, holistic sex toys, and hosts online learning “Salons” or classes with titles like “Vaginal Kung Fu” and “The Well-F**ked Woman.” In short, she is making waves in the game of making love. Complementary to her vast catalogue of coaching services, she also creates holistic, sexual education content on her YouTube channel and through her podcast, Orgasmic Enlightenment — perfect for those of us wanting to dip our toes into the water by learning about female ejaculation, Yoni massages, and vaginal weight lifting.
While Anami is not the first person to advocate for sex as a healing agent, she just might be the first to mobilize this message using the sweeping power of social media in our contemporary world as effectively as she has.
In January 2015, the first post with the hashtag, #thingsiliftwithmyvagina appeared on Instagram. In the accompanying photograph, Anami holds Reverse Warrior pose somewhere in Los Angeles. (Note: the bright pink wall behind her, the sun and shade, her glowing tan.) A bottle of cold pressed juice seemingly floats in the space between her legs, until you squint to notice a thin string tied to the bottle, following it up to where it disappears under her shorts.
Perhaps her most sensational campaign yet, #thingsiliftwithmyvagina evolved into an ongoing effort to promote the ancient Chinese healing method of inserting a Jade egg into the vagina to exercise the pelvic muscles and build strength, a practice which has been said to intensify orgasms, prevent urinary incontinence, and even prepare women for childbirth. Images of the “sex influencer” lifting coconuts in Bali, a Murano glass chandelier in Italy, and a pot of mint tea in Morocco, to name a few, quickly went viral, signaling to her that people were “hungry for self healing, hungry to connect with their sexual power.”
A voice like hers is critical in a sex-positive world, and even more so in the opposite, for the way she is changing the language that surrounds sex to reflect the possibility of a positive, healing experience. “There are few good examples out there for us to emulate of what powerful, owned, self-connected sex looks like,” she says. So this Valentine’s Day, let’s look to Kim Anami as one example and take note when she says, “Forget the chocolates, give orgasms instead.”
Andrea Nayeli is a writer based in Los Angeles. Follow her on social media at @dreanayeli.