Taking Back Complexity

Women, the time has come to embrace our layers, issues, diversity, passions and voices. Now, more than ever before, is the time to take back our complexity.

For far too long we have allowed the patriarchy to classify negatively the very things that make us unique and special. The world has told us time and time again that our complexity makes us complicated, and complicated means difficult… and difficult is bad.

Being complex is defined as “someone who is difficult to understand due to their lifestyle or personality.” But when did that become such a bad thing?

I have lived a complex life for many years now and I would hardly consider that to be a strike against me. My resume reads like a mind map; at first glance it appears to be all over the place, like the cities I’ve lived in and hats I have worn. I’ve been told all these things make me hard to figure out, but the reality is that all of these layers together make up a perfect tapestry of someone who can not only adapt to new situations and challenges, but also has a multitude of diverse skills and interests that come together in one fantastic package. Complex? Sure, I’ll own that… especially when the alternative is predictable and flat.

This is not to say that if someone has worked in one career their whole life or been in one solid relationship for a long time they are simple or boring. Not in the least. A woman’s complexity lies in the very things we have been ridiculed, sidelined and even institutionalized for. Our ability to take on the job of mother/wife/daughter whilst trying to find a way to maintain our own identities is complicated enough. Toss in a possible career, political or societal involvement, creative expression and/or personal and spiritual growth, and suddenly you’ve navigated a world that is set up to knock you down as soon as it realizes you don’t perfectly fit into what it’s telling you to be. Now, that’s complexity for you! And just like Ginger Rogers we do everything men do, backwards… and in heels.

So maybe I am hard to figure out at first go, and maybe it’s difficult to put myself in a box or a drop-down option for an online profile. And maybe you also have multi-layered passions and strong opinions? If you’re a man that would make you intriguing, interesting, challenging and even admired. But if you are a woman? Well, it might mean you aren’t a good team player, you aren’t dating or marriage material, that you rock the boat, or, god forbid, make a strong wave. It might mean you are complicated.

But the thing is, complicated or complex, neither are really as negative as they have been made out to be. They have become words used to shut down intelligent, opinionated women — usually by men or other women who are threatened by them.

There is a revolution happening amongst women in the western world right now. We are finding strength and unity in each other’s courage, voices and ‘no fucks given’ attitudes about the old perceived consequences of standing up for what we know is right and wrong.

When a woman decides to own her complexity she shouldn’t fear what people think of her or what she could lose.

However, the only way for this to become the standard is for all women to start claiming themselves and standing up for each other.  

So, my ladies, are you ready to embrace all your layers, scars, pains, truths and big beautiful complicated complexities and truly run this world? I know I’m tired of playing pretend normal.

What is happening in Hollywood right now needs to ripple and reverberate into all women’s lives, careers and homes. It doesn’t stop here; this is only the beginning!

Comment