JOMO: the New Self-Care

FOMO | the fear of missing out

JOMO | the JOY of missing out

Being bi-coastal has had many advantages in my life. I get to hug more people, taste more food, hear more music, etc. However, as my Cali-NY stints started becoming spread apart more and more after having my daughter, I developed a serious case of self-perpetuated FOMO anxiety. I was not only missing out on what I perceived to be going on “out there,” I was detaching from the joy of the present moment.

Luckily, at just the right time, I recalled an article on hygge, the Danish practice of slow, cozy living that The Fullest’s friend, Meredith Baird published not too long after I had my daughter. Brought back to my center by her mindful reminder, all of the outside noise disappeared as I tuned in to my intuitive, nurturing side at home with this new little person in my life. And JOMO officially set in.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we all become shut-ins, ditch our smart-devices and stop participating, but rather I’m asking that we take a moment to consider JOMO as a sustainable self-care regulator. We must realize that missing out does not translate to becoming inexperienced or lacking, but rather, is what ultimately brings us closer to our center.

Thanks, but No Thanks

Turn down events with delight. A Sunday morning in with my daughter to watch cartoons and paint is absolute JOMO. JOMO has resulted in my ability to truly experience the sublime.

See how you feel the next time you turn down an event. Consider if it shifts your perspective of obligation. As you turn down events in the future — because you are beginning to focus on what’s important to you — see if any subconscious guilt is also beginning to fade.

Minimalist Recipe for JOMO

New York stylist Hannah Betts of Lives Styled will tell you that minimalism reduces materialism and allows one to stop comparing themselves and their habitats with others. Her advice is to fill your space or time with plants and watch your need for stuff dissolve. Less stuff + communing with plants = JOMO mindfulness.

Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus of The Minimalists, say that less stuff is part of the equation, but less mental clutter is what’s really key. It’s simple: declutter the mind, make room for more joy.

Ask yourself if all of your stuff, your job and your techy devices contribute to, or subtract from, your core happiness.

JOMO Instead of FOMO in the New Year

According to an anthropological paper published at Texas A&M, entitled “FOMO: It’s Your Life You’re Missing Out On,” millennials spend 10 hours a day killing time on the Internet. Any manifestation specialist will clearly tell you that if you’re sending your brain a constant message of fear and lack, the universe will likely reward you with more of the same until you decide to reframe this belief and behavior pattern.

Each January we re-dedicate to transforming ourselves. From the point of Mother Nature’s biological view, we should be relaxing and resting, yet instead, we set our rhythms to FOMO-overload.

Much like manifesting boundaries for who we allow in our lives, this mindful manifestation technique coupled with reframing, generates a JOMO-sensibility. In doing so, note if your sleep and wake patterns become more tuned in to nature.

Tuning in While Tuning Out

If it all sounds nice and all, but you’re left thinking, “How will I ever actually make myself set down my phone and not care about what I’m missing?” then get started by doing any one (or all ) of the following:

Wandering through a large garden for 30 minutes;

Going for a joyride without any particular destination set;

Cooking;

Playing board games with your kids or friends;

Flying a kite overhead while laying in the grass and staring at the sky (I did this with my daughter and it brought an incredible amount of nervous-system restoring joy);

Tending to your plants at home;

Reading a novel.

How are you embracing JOMO to stay connected and flowing with the things that matter most in your life?

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