You are enough. You always have been. You always will be.
We read this all the time, but do we believe it? Do we have any idea what it actually means? ‘You are enough’ can be a very esoteric, generic sounding statement. How we see ourselves and the language we use to self-describe has everything to do with our personal belief systems.
In private practice I hear folks self-describe using their belief systems as their reference points. It’s often about what material things they have, or how they perceive themselves compared to others. They will sometimes admit that they never thought they’d amount to anything.
Instead of security and peace, their personal compass is tuned to a state of lack, fear and worry.
According to just about every person I talked to this year, 2016 was intense. But if it symbolized something significant, it was introspection at a very deep level. If we can say that 2016 was the year for embracing self-love and self-care, then 2017 is about “doing you” and “being you.”
And in order to really go there, we all need to believe that we are enough.
YOU are enough. Do you believe me?
Friend, author and neurolinguistic specialist, James Cervelloni of New York’s Mindopoly Center for Change says, “None of us were born thinking, ‘I’m not enough; I’ll never measure up.’ These lies haunt our minds like ghosts, blinding us to our true unfathomable nature. Believing those lies are real may be our biggest mistake.”
Why do we allow ourselves to believe these lies?
As kids, teenagers, and even adults we may have been told: “You’re not good at ___” or “You’re bad at ___” or “You aren’t___.”
And, in our brains, where we process language into meaning, that translates to: I’m not good at ___, I’m bad at ___ and I’m not ___.
I is self-identity. The result is a reference point that becomes an adhesive in our neural networking– a reference point that signals self-esteem from a direction of lack, rather than from abundance.
We want our kids, and ourselves, to be successful, but how can that lead to success? How can it lead to the courage to “be you” or “do you?” It’s tricky to “just be yourself” when you’re on the receiving end of negative talk.
Now I know some of you will read this and think, Well, that’s just the way the world is! or In the real world, people compare and people use good and bad as reference points. But, the “real world” is exactly what we make it to be. If you don’t believe in yourself that’s what your brain believes and that’s the direction you have decided to take. Remember, thoughts stick to neural networks like glue– it’s your decision what sticks in there and what goes.
So what is it going to take to get you believing that you are enough?
We need to start by reframing. We can all benefit from this in our lives, and it’s simple enough to get started. You just have to want to. And you just have to do it.
How to Reframe:
Language is powerful and the key ingredient to our belief systems. So let’s use the power of language to fuel our self-esteem and get our brains to believe we are enough.
Get a small, inexpensive journal, and write I AM ENOUGH on the front. Start with a free-writing session, setting a timer for 3-5 minutes. Get out all of those negative things you’ve been told that you may still be holding onto. The purpose of this is to get the negative talk out of your head. Let those thoughts stick to the paper, not in your brain. When you’re done, make yourself tea, go for a walk, or read a book.
The next day, open up to yesterday’s entry, and circle or highlight any words or phrases that you perceive to be negative talk. Remind yourself that all of the negative is now out of your head. All you have room for now is abundance, and self-motivating and self-loving language.
Repeating this exercise frequently, or keeping a journal with you to get the negative talk out of your head will continue to help you set up new, self-favoring neural-networks that stick to you like glue.
Check in with your emotions. How do you feel? How have your beliefs about yourself shifted?
Let’s keep it simple. You can read other people’s mantras and make them your own, or you can create your own mantras from your journal of recently reframed information.
Here are a few to say out loud or read to yourself everyday:
I forgive myself for ever thinking that I was lacking in any way.
I AM worthy, I AM love, I AM enough.
I am the miracle that is life, therefore, I am enough.
Supportive Therapies and Tools
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is shown in research to support and help synthesize new neural networking in the brain. It was initially developed as a non-invasive, non-drug therapy to address anxiety, depression, trauma and PTSD. This therapy has been successful at helping people reformulate negative beliefs by unblocking the areas of the brain that fester emotional wounds.
Wearing Body Vibes Energy Frequency Self-Love Smart Stickers serves as both a symbolic reminder and an energetic tool. The stickers are not only adorable, but deliver a frequency directed with an intention through their bio-frequency delivery design.
Reframing helps, but above all, loving yourself is what’s most important. Stuart Smalley, a SNL character from the 80’s would start each of his skits saying, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me.” The takeaway message each time being that you are enough… you just have to love yourself first. Say it, acknowledge it, and begin to believe it. And remember, it’s okay to have a bad day.
Bad days happen and are not a reflection of being a bad person. For whatever the reason, use it as an opportunity to remind yourself that you’re enough. Even if it means taking the day off from work, taking a nap in the middle of the day, or simply being still, then so be it. Allow yourself this grace from time to time and be thankful for the peace you’re letting in.
How do you know you are enough? How did you teach your inner self to believe it? Your experiences are meaningful to others, please share them with other readers here!
Christine Dionese, cofounder of flavor ID is an integrative health and food therapy specialist & wellness, lifestyle and food journalist. Christine has dedicated her career to helping others understand the science of happiness and its powerful effects on everyday human health by harnessing the power of the epigenetic landscape. She is available for both private and professional consultations. Please contact her here.