Infertility is Not Failure

Fall is one of the most popular times of year in which couples try to conceive. It’s a transformative time, ripe for risque, exciting, and courageous action that we as women channel inward through our fertility.  

Unfortunately, infertility is a reality for many. It is the second most popular health concern millennials consult with me about, especially this time of year. The number one reported sense of self and emotion that accompanies these circumstances is failure.

But, this notion of failure has a function.

In the case of infertility, regardless of the underlying cause, I’d like to suggest this notion as a protective, primitive function. This perceived failure in our consciousness– that is, identifying infertility as failure– could it actually be our body’s most adaptive nature to protect us, or even more, summon us to recognize that we may not yet be ready to conceive because of deeper emotional or physiological healing needs?

I know, if you’re in this position it’s a difficult question to ask. But it’s an important one.

In this most primitive sense, when we commit to asking this question, failure has the function to help us pause, reframe, and explore what the idea of becoming fertile means to each of us individually.

As a protective function, our own physiology demands we change course, to pause so that we may become open to receiving new information. Whether we need to repair physiologically, emotionally, or likely both, the perceived function of failure is to help us reset from a place of groundedness from our center.

Speaking of those physiological demands…

The scenario often looks like this– you’ve tried to conceive, but haven’t been able to so far. You’re stressed, fatigued, and you feel like you’ve failed. Maybe you move onto IVF and it doesn’t seem to work. You’re even harder on yourself, the idea of failure starts to permeate. But wait, have you considered what could actually be occurring at a physio-emotional level?

Let’s look at epigenetics.

Emo | Could it be emotional trauma or emotional circumstances that we haven’t yet processed or unlocked? Post traumatic stress is one of the top reasons for experiencing infertility concerns. Nurturing one’s self is elemental to bringing new life into the world. The first step to fertility is identifying and healing this space.

Genetic | How about a genetic issue? A lot less mysterious and more common than many realize, genetic concerns help explain circumstances of infertility such as hormonal and autoimmune concerns you may not become aware of other than through testing. Genetic data helps us to understand where and how we need to recalibrate before creating new DNA.

And remember ladies, you’re not alone. Along with genetics, there are questions about health concerns that your partner should answer as well– you’re in this together, after all. Just as invaluable for women, genetic testing can offer a more refined glimpse as to what’s really going on.

If you’re experiencing infertility and ready to reframe your perceived notions of failure visit my resources:

The Fertile Heart | A kind of fertility-in-a-box tool to help you decide how to rewrite your fertility journey.

Circle + Bloom | If meditation is your thing, check out how this focused aural meditation guide can help connect mindfulness to your hormone levels.

Manifest | Did you know that one in three women will go on to have a natural birth after IVF “fails”? Decide to consciously live in the fertile by relaxing into your spiritual nature, rather than longing for something out of your control. From a place of abundance, we can feel secure when we manifest the situations we dream of most.

Christine has dedicated her career to helping others understand the science of happiness and its powerful effects on everyday human health by harnessing the power of the epigenetic landscape. She is available for both private and professional consultations. Please contact her here.

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