Is the bemoaned 7-year itch real? Or is it a societal myth, further propagated by the ubiquitous mid-life crisis?
According to a recent Scientific American article, famed love biologist Helen Fisher writes:
The four-year divorce peak among modern humans may represent the remains of an ancestral reproductive strategy to stay bonded at leastlong enough to raise a child through infancy and early toddlerhood. Thus, we may have a natural weak point in our unions. By understanding this susceptibility in our human nature, we might become better able to anticipate, and perhaps be able to avoid, the four-year itch.
So there is biological evidence for an itch, it’s just 3 years off.
But not according to astrology and psychology. There, it is 7 years. And it applies across the board and to women as well. Let me explain.
We grow in stages of 7. Think about it. At 7 years old, we enter 1st grade, experiencing our first real separation from our immediate family. At 14, we’re ensconced in adolescence, determined to chart our own course. At 21, we’ve left our home and are experiencing unchartered waters. and at 28, we’re officially an adult and on our way. This continues, the cycle doubles down, 35, 42, and so on.
In astrology, we refer to these as Saturn Cycles as Saturn takes about 28 years to travel the wheel. As it progresses through the quadrants of our charts, we are called forward, asked to master limitations and obstacles and mature. And everything is cumulative. So if we don’t choose the career path that resonates deeply, we’ll be forced to course correct. And if we don’t choose into a fulfilling relationship, we’ll begin to reevaluate.
Everyone has a bias. And that bias colors our beliefs, our orientation. But Saturn doesn’t care. Saturn isn’t interested in whether you’re supposed to climb the corporate ladder. It only cares that we’re learning our lessons.
Recently, one of my teachers said (I’m paraphrasing):
“Spirit does not care whether you are successful or not. It cares whether you are learning the lesson your soul was sent here to learn.”
My inner New Yorker was none too pleased. I crinkled my nose and then, I felt relief. I felt the boulder slide off my back.
“Spirit does not care whether you are successful or not.”
Now, I recognize that, this, too is a belief system, a bias. And a radical one. But, if you ask me, it makes the most sense.
I drove out to LA with a passion and intense interest in film and TV. But the reality was not the art I imagined it to be. I bounced around, scrambling to find my footing. And then, just as I was beginning to make headway, I chose to walk away in pursuit of something even more vague: self-actualization and personal development.
Are we supposed to jump ship when things get rocky? Are we supposed to surrender, let go? Or stick with it, no matter what? And what about when it’s good, but still not right? Do we stay then or do we trust in our desire to break free?
There’s no blanket answer. The only important question is: am I learning, am I growing, am I evolving? Am I listening to my authentic self?
We are conscious. We have the capacity to override biological impulses and societal pressures. Like anything, it comes down to how committed we are to our soul’s purpose and evolution.
Isn’t that the most important vow we will ever take?