One of the myths of adulthood, I think, is that things begin to make sense. The older I get, the blurrier the world becomes. I cannot reconcile the relative ease of my life, for example, with the horror some are experiencing across this globe every day. I only know that I am mystified by it. And I am finding—more than ever before—my spiritual beliefs square against the realities that I see. What is it, really, that we are doing here? Is it enough just to spread love, to be kind? Or is something else being asked of me?

In order to navigate the world, we form narratives of our experiences, our lives, stringing together events into a cohesive trajectory—one that we can easily digest. But what happens when those stories no longer suffice? What happens when we realize that we are not our stories? That we are something both larger and smaller, a light among other lights, in this shifting, kaleidoscope of a world? That we are both hugely significant and also a speck of sand in an endless curve of beach?

Over the next year we very well may find ourselves questioning our realities as Saturn in Sagittarius squares Neptune in Pisces. Saturn is structure, it’s our footing and our sense of responsibility and the established order. Neptune dissolves, it’s ethereal and not easily pinned down, especially in Pisces, the sign it rules. And both Sagittarius and Pisces are mutable signs, which means they adapt, seeking variety and change and discovering themselves through the process. They’re comfortable with change and changes in perspective. This creates leakage. What exactly will come of it?

Individually and collectively, we may find our beliefs challenged, our structures slipping away. The truth—and where to seek it—may feel more ephemeral than ever. Dreams and illusions may be shattered as we ask ourselves over and over, what is actually real?

Sounds a little slippery, I know. But maybe that’s the point.

Maybe we’re not supposed to know. Maybe evolution comes in the releasing, in the letting go, as we begin to dissolve the barriers that separate and isolate. And maybe I don’t have to know the hows and the whys. Maybe, just maybe, it’s enough to be asking the questions.

So as we traverse this upcoming astrological terrain and you find yourself questioning, know that it’s in service to you, that doubt is an essential part of faith and that spirituality isn’t about dogma, but about surrendering to the unknown and allowing mysticism and wonder to sustain us, even as the world confuses and astounds. Because, after all, if we knew all the answers, why would we be playing the game?

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