“Deep sexual satisfaction is the foundation for enduring meaningful intimate relationships. Whatever their sexual orientation, individuals who enjoy more liberated, informed, and gratifying sex lives are also known to live healthier, happier, and more satisfying lives in general. My mission is to empower women and men to enjoy and share greater pleasure.” -Betony Vernon
The forward of Betony Vernon’s beautifully provocative Boudoir Bible provides a solid foundation for a book that opens up an intimate conversation. A conversation that is so often taboo. Despite being inundated with sexually charged media imagery and visual cliches about sex—we are more confused and closed off sexually than ever before. Real sex is still inhibited. Sex-help books over-philosophize our behaviors, and the pursuit of pure physical pleasure gets swept away. You end up feeling like you should go to a yoga class to improve your relationship instead of just simply spending a day getting busy. Oh! how we have confused ourselves…
Betony touches on the physicality of sex and some of the topics admittedly might make you squirm. From Ben Wa Balls, Titillating Tickle Tools, Sexual Surrender, Rope Bondage, to the more basic idea of Erotic Meditation—it’s covered. These subjects may or may not be familiar to you, but you’ve probably never read about them in a beautifully published (Rizzoli no doubt) coffee table book that you can showcase front and center.
So, what are you afraid of?
As a culture, we have been very successful at developing pleasure inhibiting behavioral patterns. Oh yes we like to overeat, overdrink, and fill our holes (metaphysically speaking) with a number of other substances—when perhaps what is really missing is sex—real, uninhibited, physically sound, and satisfying sex. We’ve mistaken social media for human connection, and sexting for the act. Many of us are so in our heads about being perfect, or perfectly busy all the time—we forget how to let go and ask for what we want, or maybe we don’t know what we want because of the complex mechanics of the act. We’re afraid to ask for more, or push any boundaries.
Boudoir Bible dismantles any taboos and pushes those boundaries, by forcing us to consider introducing a healthy (and safe) dose of erotica into our lives.
We strive to achieve satisfaction in every area of our lives—through meditation, yoga, exercise, healthy eating, proper careers…the list goes on. Our sex lives are kept behind closed doors. Sex is safely kept in our little private box—egos are spared with our peers, and for all intents and purposes, our “shit” seems together on the outside. What suffers is our relationships and our primal satisfaction, both of which manifest themselves into any number of neurotic behaviors.
Moral of the story—sex is important.
Superficial sexiness is not a replacement for physical sexual satisfaction (and has absolutely nothing to do with it).